On bus seats and chivalry!

Rahul* is the perfect gentleman. I admire his sense of old school chivalry. He travels everyday for four hours by the metro to office. A soft-spoken man, by some quirk of fortune, he has ended up with a job that makes him control a team of unruly people. Yet he somehow does it without raising his voice or temper. If one were to ask Rahul as to what he desires most in life, the answer would definitely be world peace. He’s a content man and I have never come across him finding fault with anything. Yet this gentleman begrudges one thing. And what is that? — the reserved seats in the general compartments in the metro.

Meet Neha*. She’s a scholar; full of high ideals, passionate about the downtrodden. At present, she is all for the naxalite cause. She dreams that one day all of us would be equal. Although she is not a communist (not yet, i.e.), she believes that a day will come when there will be an equal playing field for everyone. And that day, in her opinion, could be heralded in only through reservation.

The decision to increase the number of reserved seats in buses has disappointed me. I feel this is a regressive step, a negative impact of gender sensitization. I believe that if an external body tries to coerce Rahul to give up his seat to me, he will give it to me definitely, but he will hate me for that. Now the question is why should I care if Rahul hates me? The reason I should care is because there are not many men like Rahul. And it is not about a mere seat (although the importance of a seat can never be overemphasised; ask about it to anyone who stays in South Delhi and has to go to Noida, sector 62 everyday). It’s about the way Rahul is going to feel about me in general. Why should Rahul help me if I trip and fall while getting out of the bus? Am I not the same 'woman' who so confidently ‘claimed’ my right to the seat?

Neha’s argument is that one day we will not need reservations anymore; which goes on to imply that she considers reservation a necessary evil. She believes that the day we attain that ‘common platform’, we can start off our march of equality from there. She refuses to understand that once the march starts, there will be people lagging behind again. At least that is what Darwin claimed long ago. She also believes that a day will come when women become as ‘empowered’ as men and that day, we women would relinquish our claims to reserved bus seats. But why would I want to give up my benefits, especially something that’s merely physical. Come on people! Aren’t we the ones who claim, ‘don’t look at my body structure; look at my brain.’ Then why do we claim something based on our bodies?

I for my part want rights — right to education and the right to basic amenities. I want a world where we are all human beings with the same facilities. I don’t care for equality in terms of the number of zeroes in our bank balance, because that again is subject to Darwin’s rules. I believe the two sexes are different but equal. Let Eve Ensler be. If we open our minds, this world has a space for everyone. We don’t have to be a misandrist to be a feminist.

As I write, I hear terrible news of further reservations – that the Delhi metro will have two reserved compartments instead of one in the near future. The day it comes to pass, I know I will be ashamed to face the Rahuls in the metro stations. My confident walk would falter. And that’s what the government will have accomplished with ‘its’ gender sensitization.

* Names changed.