sad song

and now my happy song has ended / and illusions have all betrayed me, / i can no more write a love poem / even death doesn't frighten me, / i wish, i wish-i were the old me / and not as old as i am now, / i wish i feared, i wish i cried / i wish a sad song could breathe in me.

happy song

and now i know

that my happy song will end--

-in a scream going dumb.

-in a jarring note of cacophony.

today's mute helen:

tomorrow's virago xanthippe!

yet still i shall sing my happy song

and save my tears till i am dumb.

seeking

i know it's a new dawn

a dawn heralding the coming dusk

and yet i welcome you.

i know you are a spring

who will melt in my autumn

and yet i desire you.

i am tired

of being the 'good' female

i wish to be a woman

—as i was before time began .

let me sin or deny me life

but don't stifle me any more with ideals.